


When Desu Meets Kawaii

by MijuMiju (ColorfulDolce)



Category: Supernatural, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: M/M, crossover fic, haha i have no idea why i wrote this....
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-10
Updated: 2012-06-10
Packaged: 2017-11-07 10:31:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/430071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ColorfulDolce/pseuds/MijuMiju
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"It's different than the others, it's a fluke. A mistake that was created, one so minuscule that nobody has noticed. Not even your Heimdall.  It's grown in isolation, apart from any other realm or universe in existence. It's become a living body, conscious of what goes on. It doesn't like intruders. They're a threat, a virus. They need to leave."</p>
            </blockquote>





	When Desu Meets Kawaii

**Author's Note:**

> this started out as an askfic for the lovely pockytardis and was inspired by a post that she made too. I honestly have no idea how it turned out this way, but it did. I hope you enjoy.
> 
> Also, forgive me about the title.

Tony sighed against his lover's neck, not muttering sweet nothings as one would expect from such an innocent and loving gesture, but awfully dirty things that only he could think of. Normally, Dean would have smirked and said a few dirty things back to his lover, but today....he just couldn't. Steeling himself, he gently pushed his beloved back. "Tony," he started in response to the curious look the other gave him, "Listen, I love you, more than anything. My desu calls out for your moe, but...."

"But you wish that you topped, I get it," Tony stated, rolling his eyes with a goodhearted smile. He waited for Dean to laugh and say something along the lines of 'What can I say? A guy has needs.', but it never came. Frowning, he took his eyes off of Dean's neck and onto his face, only to be met with a melancholic gaze.

"No, no I don't." 

"...Then what?" Tony was confused; Dean was never this serious....unless...... 

"Don't...Don't tell me you still feel for that angel." "Tony...."

"Why does he even matter anymore? You SAID that you were done with him!" Tony was furious. Ever since Tony had been sucked into a new realm during a battle against Loki and ended up with salted Holy Water in his suit ("Whoa Sammy hold up, you know you just salted IRON MAN?" "I thought he was a shapeshifter!! How was I supposed to know?!"), he and Dean had been meeting up with each other. Dean said he had completely forgotten Castiel, he said it! 

"Yeah? Well I say a lot of things," Dean sneered.

The sneer threw Tony off, but only momentarily. Soon he was filled with pure rage. "You sure do say a lot of things. 'I love you.', 'You're too kawaii for me to handle.', 'Let's make a yaoi.'. Tell me, Dean, how much of that did you ACTUALLY mean? Am I just another one of those strippers you constantly dream about? Another one of those hookers you pick up at bars?!" 

Dean's face morphed into such a look of indignation and anger that Tony briefly thought he might "hulk out" like Bruce. 

"DON'T YOU EVER COMPARE YOURSELF TO THOSE PROSTITUTES, YOU KNOW I MEANT THOSE THINGS," he roared. Now it was Tony's turn to sneer, "Yeah? Then explain why you're breaking up with me─Don't you dare try to deny it. You were going to leave me and go back to that emotionless angel of yours. What was his name? Pastel?" 

"Castiel...." Dean grunted out. 

"Castiel, right," Tony would have rolled his eyes if he didn't feel so betrayed. "Is there any particular reason why you're leaving?"

"Tony, don't be like this," Dean pleaded reaching out to bring Tony into a hug, pushing aside the offense that he felt as Cas's expense. Tony stepped away, however and sarcastically replied, "Oh yeah. My boyfriend is breaking up with me I forgot that I was supposed to be rainbows and sunshine." Dean sighed in exasperation.

"It's not....that I'm breaking up with you it's just that......I can't do this anymore, Tony. I love you with everything, really, but Cas is...he's....special."

"You just like him because of his kokoro.." Tony grumbled, looking down to the floor. Dean took this chance and brought Tony into a hug. He didn't relent, even as Tony struggled to free himself. "It's not that. You could have absolutely no heart and I would still love you, babe, but me and Cas have been through so much....." 

Tony stopped struggling after a while, choosing instead to just lean into the hug. Hey, if this was the last he'll ever get then he's going to enjoy it. "But so have we...."

"I know babe, I know," Dean muttered softly, rubbing circles in Tony's back. 

It was killing him to have to do this, and it wasn't because of Castiel either─or, rather, not entirely. Dean, he was just so scared. He knows full well that Tony can care for himself, but that doesn't stop him from fearing for his safety. On those rare occasions he wakes up from nightmares (he never fully recovered from his whole ordeal back in...there) he feels terror like never before. If Tony died, would he...

They stood like that for a while, and they would have stayed like that for a while longer, but anymore and Dean's resolve might shatter. Breathing in Tony's scent one last time, he slowly pulled back, letting his arms linger on Tony's shoulders before letting them drop to his side. He had to do this. If he couldn't last one day without Sam...he'd rather not think about what he'd do without Tony. 

"I know...but...If I could only have you or Cas, I'll take Cas," Dean wanted to vomit from that lie.

Tony stayed silent. Dean was on the verge of inquiring if he was alright when the billionaire abruptly turned around and started heading back towards the room where everybody was staying at. 

"Shantel must be getting worried." 

Dean didn't have the heart to correct him. 

They walked back to the room in silence, Dean heading for the couch to have Castiel curl up next to him and Tony to lock himself in his room and wish that he had JARVIS to talk to, not just the soon-to-be empty bottles of alcohol.  
_________________________________________

A year passed, maybe two. Tony didn't keep track, nor did he care. All of his focus was set on figuring out a way to get back to his realm. He got sidetracked in this one, but not anymore. Sometimes he woke up on the couch, other times his bed. He didn't really talk anymore, only a few sparse conversations with Sam about which girl was hotter, but those were mostly just for show. He lived off of coffee as he bent over his desk, working, thinking, formulating equations and complicated algorithms.  
_________________________________________

He never saw Dean. He went out of his way to make sure that he and Dean would not cross paths. Of course there were times when that was impossible, but Tony made a point to show that he didn't want to talk to him. He was only making it worse for himself, he knew. They traveled together after all. Sometimes at night he'd smirk up at the ceiling and berate himself for not just leaving, but the thought of being away from Dean hurt almost as much as the thought of staying. 

He hated it.  
_________________________________________

It was on a particularly sunny Tuesday that Tony finally had a breakthrough. He had finally managed to figure out how to contact JARVIS and he swore that the sound of the AI's voice was never more wonderful. 

"You've been gone for a while, sir. The rest of the team is worried sick." Tony hadn't smiled in a very long time, but he was positively beaming right now. 

"Tell them to go find Loki and have him voodoo me back there, and I won't be taking no for an answer." 

"But of course sir." 

He was had finished putting on his armor when the sound of an explosion followed shattering glass and a horrific shriek of "DEAN" reached his ears. Instinctively, he ran towards the directed where it had come from, only to be met with something that would leave even Fury shocked beyond belief. Dean....he....he was.....JARVIS sensed Tony's distress and opened the faceplate just as Tony started to empty out the contents of his stomach. He couldn't believe it. He looked around.

Dean was everywhere.  
_________________________________________

There was no funeral, no reception. No caskets nor graves. What was there to bury? A few scraps of shredded meat? Not even that.   
________________________________________

He lay sprawled on the couch, bottles littering the floor. At least now he wasn't the only one at fault; Sam was not coping with this ordeal very well at all. He kept yelling for 'Gabriel' to 'Hurry up and make it Wednesday' and other such phrases. It didn't matter to Tony. Dean was gone. Eradicated by some unknown force. His "Castiel" wasn't even mourning, the jerk.

"Don't think that I don't mourn, Man of Iron." Tony blankly looked up to see the apathetic face of Castiel. Had he not felt so numb he would have punched him, but as it was he just took another swig of gin and Castiel spoke once again. 

"Sam is not sputtering nonsense, as you think he is. Something very horrible happened in the past, leaving him a bit traumatized even if he does not show it. He's suffering from a relapse." Tony finished the rest of the of gin before grabbing a new bottle.

"You two have the exact same taste in liquor." Tony ignored the comment in favor of chugging down the scotch, welcoming the pleasant burn it created. The next thing Castiel said, however, caused him to choke: 

"I suppose that was one of the many reasons he loved you," Castiel paused, allowing Tony some time to recover, "You two couldn't fool me. The Heimdall you spoke about once, I'm as powerful as him, if not more so. I know everything that goes on in this world. Don't act so surprised."

"You...You KNEW?!"

"I told you, do not act so surprised." Tony was flabbergasted. Castiel. Knew. He couldn't believe it, Castiel KNEW. He suddenly found himself wondering if Castiel knew about his and Dean's more...intimate moments. 

"I know about those too, although I wish I didn't. I don't exactly enjoying knowing that the one I love is off with another." Tony's face was red now from a combination of embarrassment and slight apology. He couldn't help but feel the need to apologize for that.

"Listen I'm really sorry you had to see that─" Castiel held up a hand, effectively cutting him off. 

"No. It will not make a difference now. That, however, is not the reason why I wished to speak to you." 

"Well I don't see why you would want to talk to me in the first place, especially when you know I stole your boyfriend from you...for a while," Tony said, voice dipping lower towards the end, burdened with sadness. Oh yeah. Dean chose Castiel over him. Right.

"He lied about picking me you know." THAT caught Tony's attention. 

"He.....He what?" 

Sighing not unlike a parent whom had grown tired of having to repeat themselves, Castiel continued, "He lied about choosing me if it were between the two of us. He would have chosen you. Don't give me that look, I know what you're thinking. I didn't persuade him to leave you or anything of the sort, he decided to do that on his own. Dean was terrified of what would happen to you should something unfortunate happen. He did what he thought was best."

"What he thought was best?" Tony repeated. "What he THOUGHT was best!!" Castiel sensed his oncoming rant and effectively tuned the Avenger out, barely catching snippets. 

He made his way through the sea of bottles, pausing only when he thought he heard Tony say something akin to 'Since when does he even think?! The Kawaii Desu-nya ones aren't supposed to think!'. Deciding that he did not, nor will he ever, understand that reference, he sat on the couch opposite to Tony and patiently waited.

"Let me guess, he had some cliché thought or something. Probably 'Oh no what if all those Demons out there try to kill Tony to get to me oh no I can't have that happen!'" Castiel nodded, and Tony let out a frustrated grunt. He sat up and hunched over, rubbing his face. 

"That stupid little...I can take care of myself you know!!" he yelled, glaring up towards the ceiling and flipping it off...and then quickly looking towards the floor and doing the same. Where did he go anyways? Heaven or The Pit?

"As much as I would like to assure you along with myself that Dean is safe and sound in Heaven, I can't do that."

Tony looked crestfallen, sparing a glance at the floor. "So he's.....?"

"No. Honestly, I haven't the faintest idea of where he could have gone. He's just vanished."

"'Vanished'? Look I have no idea how things work in this realm or world or whatever but when people die aren't they supposed to, I don't know.....end up somewhere? You said you were like that Heimdall guy, aren't you supposed to know everything?" Castiel's lips pursed as he brought his hands up in a sort of praying gesture. He closed his eyes and concentrated silently for a while before finally answering, "I can't find him anywhere, but I do have an theory of why that may be...."

"Well I'm all ears."

"You've overstayed your welcome."

"I....What?" Tony was confused. Well that was a first.

"This realm...This universe....Was not meant to be intruded upon. It's different than the others, it's a fluke. A mistake that was created, one so minuscule that nobody has noticed. Not even your Heimdall. It's grown in isolation, apart from any other realm or universe in existence. It's become a living body, conscious of what goes on. It doesn't like intruders. They're a threat, a virus. They need to leave. There is only a certain amount of matter in this universe. It never changes, never fluctuates. It stays constant, stable. Nothing is ever lost. It's all conserved, reused, recycled into something new. That's why it does not like intruders. They push everything off balance.

"New matter, more space. This universe cannot handle that. It doesn't know how. So it tries to get rid of it. It tries to obliterate it, destroy it. Make it so that it's as if the trespasser never existed. It rips apart their molecules, their atoms, breaking them until there is nothing left. It takes everything, and makes it disappear.....

"Unfortunately, it's extremely accurate, too accurate. Every new atom left behind by the intruder is destroyed, including bodily fluids.........Especially those that are exchanged behind closed doors," Castiel paused there, looking away from Tony. The billionaire spared himself a moment to feel slightly embarrassed about his, at least to Castiel, not-so-secret escapades and then he quickly moved on to processing his new found information. Dean is dead because of him....No....Dean doesn't exist because of him.

Wow. Well that sure does put a damper on Tony's mood. He can just feel those fat anime tears well up in his eyes. 

"Please do not cry. I am not the best at comforting people, and I do not wish to make you feel worse in the case that I say something wrong by mistake." Tony blinked rapidly.

"I was not going to cry," he defended, before quickly changing topics, "Now, you said that the universe is an intolerable brat and is going to destroy the intruders and trespassers and whatever. Why hasn't it destroyed me yet?"

"While it's accuracy is something very unfortunate for you, it's speed is something you should be thankful for. It does not work fast. It took this long for it to get to Dean. It will take a long time to get to you," Castiel explained. Tony pursed his lips.

"How long?"

"A year at the least."

A year. That would be more than enough time to get out of this universe. JARVIS has probably told the others about Tony right now, so they must be on Loki's tail. As soon as they get him Tony's home free. He gets to live and The Universe gets its matter balance back.

"That's perfect, it leaves me a lot of free time. Don't worry Catseal, I'll be out of your hair in no time," Tony said as he got off the couch and started to walk towards his room where he kept his armor.

"It's Castiel, and sadly we cannot allow that to happen."

....What? Tony turned around and gave Castiel a confused look. "But you just said I needed to leave."

"You do, but if you do so now that would make everything even more unstable. Since Dean is....no longer in existence, you are the only thing taking up his matter. However, your atoms are foreign, and it will not accept it. As of right now, whether you stay or leave will affect this universe negatively and have a catastrophic outcome," he said gravely. 

"Well then what are we going to do?! Dean is obliterated because of me, and now you're saying that the world's going to end because of me too! I love attention, but this is the kind I could really do without," Tony snapped, turning to face him.

"There is a way...." Castiel started. Tony gestured for him to continue, which the god did, "But....I do not know if you will enjoy it."

"I've probably done worse. Come at me."

"As a former angel and the god of this universe, I can manipulate time and space......I could transport myself back to when you first entered this place─"

"And then send me back to my realm. That's a great plan let's do it," Tony cut in. He had no idea why the man said he wouldn't like the plan.

"─and kill you," he finished, as if Tony had never interrupted him.

"...Excuse me?"

Castiel made a very uncomfortable face and explained further, "Matter that does not have a soul or spirit binding it together makes it easier to destroy...much easier. It would be almost instantaneous.....And if you were not alive to start your affair with Dean....He would exist today."

Tony was in shock. Casteel was right, he didn't like that plan. Not at all. It was a horrible plan, the worst plan, he absolutely hated that plan. He was not going to do that. No way. He liked his life, and plus his earth needed him to protect it along with the other guys. Nope, he wasn't going to do that.

....But then again, there's Dean.

Tony loved Dean, he still does. He wishes with every fiber in his being that the guy was alive and well, talking with them today, even if it was just to shout at Tony. He'd give anything just for that.....

"I knew you would not approve of the plan. Forgive me for ever bringing it up," Castiel apologized, taking Tony's silence as disagreement.

"I...No, no it's alright. The plan is great......If it means getting Dean back and saving this world then....You better immortalize me in gold. I want gold statues of myself absolutely everywhere on this planet. 'The Martyr Who Saved Earth'. If that doesn't happen then so help me, matter or no matter I will come back and haunt the holy out of you," Tony joked. Castiel was surprised, but quickly nodded and asked, "Should I go now?"

"Yeah. And hey, Clarisol─"

"Castiel."

".....Take care of Dean for me, yeah?"

"I'll be sure to do that. Farewell, Tony Stark, Man of Iron," Castiel said, before disappearing.

"Yeah.....See ya Castiel."

Tony slowly made his way back to his room and crawled into his Iron Man suit. JARVIS immediately updated him about the avengers' quest on capturing Loki and Tony smiled, just a bit.

"Hey JARVIS, tell them that it's alright. I don't think I'll be going back....I kinda like this place. Oh, and if they start whining about losing my genius, tell them I trust them to take good care of Earth. Also, make sure Steve and Thor don't break their iPh─"

Tony never got to finish his sentence, nor did he manage to tell JARVIS that Bruce got to keep his lab, or that Pepper was the owner of Stark Industries now. He was rudely cut off three year ago, when a god ripped out his arc reactor and the universe crushed the last of his atoms into nothing.  
________________________________________ 

"Hey Cas?"

"What is it Dean?"

"You just killed a monster disguised as Iron Man. And here I was thinking I was the guy's biggest fan."

"Well he was yours."


End file.
